Monday, 27 July 2015

Runaway Boy

Hey guys, it's me PenGirl! And I have come up with an awesome idea!! Listen... 

Every Saturday I will write a mini chapter of a story I am writing. It will contain cliffhangers, puzzles and plenty of adventure!! If your not an adventure person then, when the series has finished, you can comment your suggestions of genre the next story will be. But this time it's going to be adventure! Got your Starbucks? Let's go! 

Zander was an average 14 year old boy. Goes to school every weekday, plays rugby and had an exceptional talent for running and sports in general. A typical teenager you might say. But ,if you look closer, his eyes are a unexplainable colour that fades in out from yellow to turquoise and his good looks were not a bother to him (though they did come in handy when it was to making acquaintances). But despite all his blessings, however helpful they may be, he didn't seem to fit in. He had few friends and got regularly bullied. But school wasn't his only problem...

Most kids look forward to getting home. They jump up when the school bell goes and race each other outside when they are excused from class. But Zander is always that last kid who is left in the dust. 

"Hey, Zander, meet you at mine?" called his best fried, Alex.
"Sorry Al have to get home quick- it's my sisters birthday."
"Sure! See ya ,then!"
Zander gave out a small sigh and collected his things. Math book? Check. Phone? Check. Pencil case? Check. Jazmin's birthday present? Oh no. His had scrambled amongst the things cluttering up inside his back pack but nothing present like fell into his hands. This was not good. He needed to get back by 4 and it was already half past 3. He would have to take the woods way. It was risky but it was quick. But it would mean he had no present for Jazmin. 

Zander ran outside to the bike shed and got on his bike. He took it to the woods and from there he started peddling as if his life depended on it. It was very dangerous to go biking in the woods. Dangers lurked and students were forbidden to set foot in there. He was scared but at the same time he was enjoying this new experiance. It was a sense of freedom he had never experianced before. But he didn't see the fallen branch in his path and before he knew it, he was on the floor. Unconscious.

You have read it. Now tell me what you think about it! In comments section below rate it, talk about it or give me suggestions on what to do next Saturday! But tell me what you think and, maybe, follow? I have added a new follow via email section so feel free! 

Stay tuned for next Saturday!




  1. WOW! That's amazing! You truly do have an amazing talent for writing! I'm lost for words! xoxo

    1. Thank you so much Miss Internet! It means a lot!

  2. Dearest PenGirl,
    Wowow. This is excellent stuff! I really love the way you have introduced the story; it sure has got me hooked! Your writing style is attention grabbing - i especially admire your use of various sentence length, as this keeps the words flowing brilliantly in the reader's mind.

    Also I like how you have introduced us to the protagonist of the novel; young, sharp, handsome Zander. You have cleverly made sure that this boy gains some sympathy from the readers; he is 'different' (perhaps even strangely unique), not fitting in at school and also is undergoing problems at home which have been subtly hinted at. However, you have not revealed everything about him yet, which is perfect as it leaves me craving to know more. There is definitely something this boy is hiding. I can't wait for some character development and find out more about this mysterious fella…with the beautiful mysterious eyes!

    Food for thought…perhaps expand onto the surroundings a bit more before the cliffhanger, just to add suspense? By creating an intense atmosphere, you can truly thrill the readers! The soft, uncanny whispering of the leaves? The foreboding chill in the air? The thickening mist in the forest, the silent sound of a cough nearby.. The sweat trickling down his icy spine…

    I can't wait to know what happens in the forest. Shall definitely be staying tuned to this piece! Keep writing.

    PS: loving the name 'Zander' - simple yet highly effective ;)


    1. Thank you, Papillion! I am so happy that you like this piece! Stay tuned!

  3. That was a really cool piece of writing!
    Abi xx

  4. You're a very talented writer PenGirl! I can't wait for the next chapters.

    ~ Rukiya